Tuesday, March 31, 2009

One liners of the bible

Samuel was such a G!! His one liner to Agag king of the Amalekites was classic
"As your sword has made women childless, so will your mother be childless among women" BAMM!!! Asta La Vesta baby. It's also comical how it says the Agag was somewhat confident thinking "Surely the bitterness of death is past." ....uh wrong again buddy

What are some other classic one liners of the bible?


Inga Gerard said...

I think he stole all his material from God. :D

Justin Seibel said...

The stew was poured out for the men, but as they began to eat it, they cried out, "O man of God, there is death in the pot!" And they could not eat it.
-2 Kings 4:38

Tera Chau said...

These are not quite one liners but I think they are hilarious hehe...

God’s response to the Israelites when they complained about not having meat:
Numbers 11:19-20
“You will not eat it for just one day, or two days, or five, ten or twenty days, but for a whole month—until it comes out of your nostrils…”

King Ahab didn’t like Elijah, and this is his G-rated name calling (it is the Bible after all! hehe):
1 Kings 18:16
When he saw Elijah, he said to him, “Is that you, you troubler of Israel?”

Elijah’s words to the priests whose prayers to the pagan god Baal were not being answered:
1 Kings 18:27
At noon Elijah began to taunt them. "Shout louder!" he said. "Surely he is a god! Perhaps he is deep in thought, or busy, or traveling. Maybe he is sleeping and must be awakened." So they shouted louder…

Mark 1:36-38
…they exclaimed “Everyone is looking for you!” Jesus replied “Let us go somewhere else…”

Mitchel Thomas Gonzalez said...

“Let us go somewhere else…” LOL good one

raerae said...

1 Samuel 20:30
Saul's anger flared up at Jonathan and he said to him, "You son of a perverse and rebellious woman!

I now know where the "other" saying may have come from!!!

I know it's a bit crude but I did have to share!